babies and sickness

I've never gotten sick much.  Just the normal once-every-few-years flu.  

After Mia was born, she got very sick.  She recovered and then we all got sick again That was in December of 2008.  

The next year, December of 2009, I was 6 months pregnant with Eva.  I felt fine all day and went to bed with zero symptoms.  I woke up very ill.  After an exhausting night, I was completely dehydrated.  My OB sent me to the emergency room where they gave me 3 bags of fluids.  The nurses read me the riot act for not getting the H1N1 shot.

December 2010 we had a respite.  None of the Amadors suffered from the flu.  Praise the Lord! 

It is now December 2011 and I spent this week so sick.  Just me.  Oh, and we were excited to find out only a week ago that we are indeed expecting again!  

Now what?  I was so sick with the flu when I was pregnant with Eva.  What if that made things harder on Eva?  The dehydration could not have been a good thing!  This baby is so tiny.... where is the Lord leading us on this journey?

If I could just hold her forever

I wish I had a day by day video of the changes in Eva.


She continues to work hard to overcome the tendencies that slow her down.  She is the most gracious-stubborn child you may meet.  


I joke that if I ask my oldest to snuggle, she is in my lap before I finish my sentence.  She never turns me down.  But with Eva, I can not BEG her to sit with me.  It has to be her choice.  And guess what, she is choosing to be held much more often.  And the last two days, she has crawled on the couch and laid down beside me!  This is momentous!  She has never ever considered sitting beside me when I lay on the couch!  She also has this thing about being covered.  She will only allow you to cover her with her special blanket that she always carries around.  However, today while snuggling close on the couch, I pulled the blanket that I had on me to also cover her.  She didn't move... other than to squeeze in close to me.  If only she would stay little so I can make up for all the times she wouldn't let me close.  


Believe me, I take advantage of every moment now.

We're together but...

I have mostly used this blog as a tool to document our journey with Eva.  But, I would be remiss to not include the mussing of my oldest, Mia.  

And with that, I must explain how tender hearted my Mia can be.  It can be her tool of manipulation but there is also a genuine gentle spirit there.  Yesterday, my girls were picking at each other as only they know how to do.  "She took my baby."  "My monkey, monnnnnkey!"  After multiple periods of separation and thinking about how to show love to each other, I was at a loss.  

I decided to put them in Eva's small bed together.  Their job was to consider how to show each other love.... rub each other's back, sing songs together, tell each other a story.  I left the room.  Minutes later, Mia is SOBBING.  With a deep sigh, I attempt to remain calm while I walk to their room.  

With tears rolling and a genuine broken heart, Mia says, "Mama, Eva and me.... we... we... we're together but we aren't TOGETHER!"  Eva would not receive Mia's acts of love.  She wouldn't allow Mia to hug her or be gentle toward her.  Mia sobbed, "She doesn't lovvvve me."  Oh, Mia.  

After calming the situation and aiding in the girls' reconciliation, I realized how true Mia's statement was.  Sometimes we hurt others and they will not receive our apologies... rightfully so as they have learned to not trust us.  Sometimes we wound others and, with a hard heart, they reject our apologies... we need to admit our wrongs anyways.  Thanks for the life lesson Sis.

no more therapy

Special update: 


Eva has been in physical therapy for 4 months... meeting only once a month.  Her therapist is so impressed with her improvement that she told me that Eva no long NEEDS therapy!  Wow!  The therapist asked if I wanted to continue to challenge Eva, which of course I do, so we get to continue to keep going to therapy but it is because she is excelling!  Praise the Lord!!

Giving Thanks

Every year, our church does a thanksgiving service the night before Thanksgiving.  The entire service is one praise after another as people raise their hands to acknowledge the Lord's work in their life.  The rule... no complaints- just to give a praise (ex: 'I'm thankful for my job even though my boss is a jerk!' This is breaking the rule!).  

My heart was instantly overwhelmed with our journey with Eva this year.  She has been an adventure!  She couldn't walk.  She wouldn't talk.  She wouldn't attach or snuggle.  I couldn't even comfort her.  She was isolated.  

And then she began to warm.... warm to our touch, our words of comfort, our cheers at her attempts to face each challenge.  

And there were many challenges.

An answer to prayer... no, not ONLY an answer to prayer but a miracle that I witnessed witness each day!  How could I not share this praise....

Pride. 

See, Eva's story is no more beautiful than anyone else's but it has MY heart... 

and I knew that I would cry.  Bawl.  So I tried to keep my mouth shut and praise the Lord in my heart.  But I couldn't keep quiet.  
Reluctantly I raised my hand to offer my praise.  I barely got the words out... 

'We were concerned about Eva for quite a while... but she has made so much progress.'   

And that's all I could say.  I wanted to say the words 'Thank You' or 'I'm so thankful' but I became a waterworks!  But I was obedient, swallowed my pride, and 
I 
Am
Soo
THANKFUL
for the Lord's work in Eva's life and His work in our lives on this journey.  This is what it feels like to be led... And it feels good!

soft touch

Nose to Nose.   That is how Eva and I rocked this afternoon.  


If you could imagine an 18 month old who rarely allows you to hold her.  She gets hurt... she goes away by herself.  She gets tired... she goes away by herself.  She snuggles with her blanket but if you, her mother, attempts to pull her close, she cries and pushes you away.  You can't be close to your own child!


But not today.  Every single day she does something new.  Today was completely unexpected!  Only this week has she started to allow me to rock her for more than a few seconds.  Today she allowed me to rock her for more than 10 minutes.  I stuck my nose in her neck to find her ticklish spot.  Then our noses touched.  She held completely still as we gazed at each other... nose to nose.  She loved it!  I gently, barely, shook my head back and forth to rub our noses.  She did the same... very slowly and gently.  I tried butterfly kisses with my eyelashes.  ANOTHER SUCCESS!  'Again.  Again,' she squealed.



So many will never know that this touch is an answer to prayer.  I cried over this.  Begged for this.  Now, I get to cry tears of joy.  And I did.  And her soft nose, as she gently shook her head back and forth over my nose, accidentally wiped that tear away.

so thankful

I can hardly put Eva down!  What a change!  She comes to me to hold her just because.  She wants me to hold her so she can see what I'm cooking when I'm making super.  She wants Rene to hold her each morning when he gets her up.  This morning, I helped her out of bed and she took me by the hand and pulled me into my bedroom and rested with me in my bed.  I'm so so thankful for the progress she has made!  She doesn't let anything stop her!